


Blackmail Material

by henriettaholden



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Crack, Fae & Fairies, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-26
Updated: 2009-06-26
Packaged: 2017-10-22 17:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henriettaholden/pseuds/henriettaholden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike has sex with a part of Angel's anatomy circa AtS S5. <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/nekid_spike/"> Nekid numbers </a>prompt: Xander / Postcard / Swimming Pool<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackmail Material

**Blackmail Material**  
 

“Is that...Xander? In a bikini?”

 

Angel looked up from his paperwork, his face of horror beyond the sphere of abject.

 

“Gimme that.” Angel shoved the Summer-esque postcard of a pool scene back into the depths of his In-Tray where it belonged.

 

“Oooo. Gotta thing for Xander, eh?”

 

“Shut up Spike.” The requisite rebuttal was received by Spike with little enthusiasm.

 

Spike was currently on ‘The Shit list’.

 

The Duskdew Clan had a settle to score after a disastrous meeting. Several lewd comments had been made and an assertion of emasculation had Angel dragging Spike from the room.

 

Fairies were meaner than the stories perceived.

 

Spike had ruined three contracts in one afternoon.

 

“Come ON Peaches!”

 

“What?”

 

Spike huffed and put the _You’re-an-Irish-dumbass-with-a-soul_ face and said, “I _sa-id_ can I take the Viper out?”

 

“Were you talking for five whole minutes?"

 

“No, five half-minutes!” The sarcasm couldn’t drip any stronger from Spike’s words.

 

“What?” The wrinkle on Angel’s forehead would have been endearing if Spike didn’t see it every day. Spike thought it was permanently attached.

 

“Shut up, wanker.” Classic comeback. Some of Spike’s best work.

 

“You shut up, retard.” Pity Angel didn’t realise the strength of rhetoric.

 

“Make me.”

 

“I will.”

 

Pettiness had exiled all attempts at vocabulary.

 

“You can’t. Not against me.”

 

“I can hold my own. And I usually do.”

 

Angel choked at the masturbation implication and pushed Spike out from beneath his nose.

 

****

 

Spike woke up feeling as if he was Atlas and the grey, scratchy skies were weighing down on his shoulders.

 

Either that or the might of Angel’s brooding had finally became corporeal and was wrecking havoc upon the density of the air.

 

But suddenly the grey became familiar. It was the pitiful blanket Lindsey had provided when Spike first moved into the miniscule apartment. Except it was now giant sized.

 

Spike began crawling along, looking for the edge of the blanket when he slammed into something strong and silver. His Zippo.

 

Well shit. It was as tall as him and four times as wide. He was a soddin’ fairy.

 

****

 

He was lucky he had fairy powers. It would have taken sixteen days to get to the Wolfram and Hart offices if he didn’t have supersuper fairy speed. Spike was surprised the alarms didn’t go off straight away when he flew in behind an entertainment lawyer.

 

God, Angel really had stepped over to the dark side.

 

Spike found Angel sitting at his desk, watching Fred try to talk with a spicy taco in her mouth. She was explaining something with big words that Angelus didn’t stand a chance of understanding.

 

It took some thinking time (aka elevator time. That thing was slow) for Spike to come up with the best way to annoy Angel in this state. But as Spike flew over to Angel’s big schnoz, he knew he’d hit upon the jackpot.

 

The big lugs hands swatted what appeared to be a fly that had settled on his face. Spike ducked as he was undoing his fairy pants. They were sparkly.

 

Angel hit himself in the nose, yelping with contact.

 

“Angel, are you okay?” Fred tried to say but the taco made it sound like “Wangahooeckaye?”

 

Angel tried to answer but Spike had just inserted his cock into Angel’s nostril. The nose hair forest tickled Spike’s dick.

 

Fred licked her fingers then looked up at Angel.

 

“There’s something on your face. AND IT’S MOVING!”

 

The tiny little grunts drifted to Angel’s ears and he aimed. Spike came just as Angel swatted him off his face.

 

Spike landed into the open drawer and saw a pin up of Xander in Speedos. His little fairy wings shuddered. He was surrounded by love letters.

 

Evil smirk crossed his lips.

 

Perfect blackmail material.

 

Spike felt his tiny insides implode a second before the desk exploded around his full sized, naked body.

 

Angel dabbed the liquid that was spilling out of his nose while attempting to look haunty at his stupid Childe.

 

“So Xander, eh? Those postcards specially made?”

 

Spike ran out of the office as The Big Forehead Hulk lunged.

 

Stupid idiot finally dissected the smell that was wafting up his nostrils.

 

“SPIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  


FIN 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to[](http://ssddgr.livejournal.com/profile)[ **ssddgr**](http://ssddgr.livejournal.com/) for reading over it for me and coming up with the title.


End file.
